Sunday, September 14, 2008

Blessed

“This is my prayer for you, there for you, ever true. Each, every day for you, in every thing you do. And when you come to me, and hold me close to you, I bless you and you bless you too.” ~ Celtic Women

What a blessing you are, Little One. How lucky am I to have you. You make every day a wonder. You make every act have purpose. I know you are not my life, and your purpose is not to fulfill mine, but you do it in so many ways.

I know I am blessed right now to be in your life. Blessed to fill it. Blessed to be who you call when you need something. Blessed to be the one you will kiss, the one you will cuddle, the one you will reach up to, the one you will run to.

You make me feel so damn important.

It’s not up to you to do that. And one day, not so long from now, I won’t be so important to you. And it makes now feel even more special.

Today, I put you in the baby swing and you cried, Mama, Mama. I pulled you out and climbed into the bigger swing holding you tight in my arms. You leaned into me as I pumped the swing higher and higher for both of us. Then you craned your neck back to see me, eyes peeking over the brim of your hat to catch my eye with your smile. A moment I will never forget. We were one again.

Friday, both tired from a week of going to work and daycare, we got into the bath together. Stayed in far too long until we were both cold and crinkly. I pulled you onto me as I turned on the faucet to fill up the tub with warm water. You pressed your head down on my chest, and I was transported back to the hours and hours we spent together head to chest just over a year ago. I take a memory shot of that moment and file it in my album of forever.

We are one we are one we are one. I know you like I know my own soul. Are we the same stream of energy flowing from lifetime to lifetime together? And yet, I don’t know you. I don’t know you at all. I am pleased to discover you every day every moment. As you discover yourself and what it is to be you in this world this time around. Will you remember me when all this is past? I will remember you. The essence of you is me too.

You take my hand and bring me to the couch. Don’t need my help climbing up there, as you wriggle up into the middle seat. Then you start talking, talking and talking in this stream of babbling. I respond, in English, in babbling, in nods and in silent listening. It’s important what you are saying and it’s important you are sharing it with me. And I wish to death that I knew what you were saying. And then I know. I hear it not in words but in feeling. Life is good, Mama. I’m having a good time figuring out all of this. Tell me more, I say. And then you climb over to me, smoosh your face in my leg.

Want to share this piece with everyone in the world. Want to tell no one. Want everyone to know our love. Want to hoarde it to me. Mostly, I just want to keep sharing with you. Your discoveries. Your love of life and stuffed animals and trucks.

I am so honoured to be your Mom, Lucas. Thank you for picking me. Thank you for blessing me. I will be here as long as you need me.

“When you no longer hear my song, my blessing goes with you.” ~ Celtic Woman

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