Tuesday, July 20, 2010

I Write Because I Have to

Our Write Club's writing prompt this week was Why I Write in response to Meredith's Heller poem of the same name (available on her website: http://www.meredithheller.com/poetry.php about halfway down the page). Here's mine:

I write because I have to
There is no choice about it
Just a pull from within me
Urging me, calling me, pestering me

A thought that won't let go
An echo of an experience
A scene that must be shared
Dying to jump out of me and onto the page

Ignore it and I get sick,
grumpy, distracted or blah
I walk into walls, spill me tea,
lose my patience for no reason

A colleage says to me,
"That's a nice hobby to have"
A well-meaning friend says,
"You're lucky it's so easy for you."

They don't understand that it eats at me
if I don't comply
It consumes me until I can
no longer ignore it

And then I take pen to paper
or keyboard to screen
and it all comes pouring from me
Words slobbering out uncontrollably
A scene connecting to a thought
An idea transitioning to a memory

Then the logical side of my brain
Pipes up with its squeaky voice
"That's not a full sentence,"
and "Do you really want to put that in writing?"
And I must writer faster and faster
just to shut that voice up.

Because I'm here not
In the place I'm meant to be
In the zone of creativity
Of freedom, of joy, of bliss
Oh allowing the me that is me, a voice
And letting that voice rise, fall, sing and swear

And then suddenly it's gone
My pen stops or my fingers stop clicking
I find myself wondering what I'll make for dinner
Or feeling compelled to login into facebook

And then I breath, sit back and read
And I find that mostly it's crap

But I laugh instead of cry
Because at least it's honest crap

And intertwined with the mess
Some nuggest do shine through
And those I hold onto and think
That's why I'm a writer.


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