Out of My Comfort Zone

Okay, here I am in the departure lounge of the airport – on my own. It occurs to me that this is the first trip I’ve really ever taken completely on my own. Sure, I’ve flown by myself and been to conferences, but I always meet up with someone or share a room with a colleague. The most I’ve travelled on my own is the couple of days I sometimes add after a work trip for sightseeing and self-renewal. (See Flying Solo). But they’re always cushioned by the familiarity of people and places I’ve had time to get comfortable with before going solo.

But now it’s just me for a week in Waterloo to visit students working at Research in Motion (who make the Blackberry) and one of my university’s largest co-op employers.

I barely could check in by myself. Begged Hubby to drag my luggage and our son into the airport and completely allowed the Westjet guy to do my entire “self-check”. It’s not that I’m not capable, but I seem to have developed this learned helplessness since my partner is such a solid, smart, supporter. That, and I have a tiny bit of princess in me. (Though said partner might dispute the “tiny” part.)

And that’s why I need to do stuff like this. It’s why I put my hand up when they asked who wanted to do this term’s “site visit” to Ontario. I was surprised when no one else had their hand up but me, and now that I’ve organized the 54 meetings and one pub social that need to take place in the span of 4 days, I have a slight clue as to why. But still, while I have to leave my family to represent my university, I’m also aware of what a great opportunity this is to challenge myself.

I so want to be a traveller. On paper, I’ve travelled the world – my family lived in Mexico when I was 4, my parents took me through western Europe twice, and my dad lived in Taiwan for two years so I got to visit there. I’ve enjoyed $5 steak dinners in Venezuela and had a fancy dinner at the top of the Eiffel tower. I love travelling and dream of hitting Greece and the Philippines in the not too distant future.

But the fact is, I like my creature comforts and I don’t do the whole adapting to new situations so well. Embarking on any kind of travel means channeling my type A-ness into spreadsheets with organized itineraries based on copious amounts of research. The whole immersing into local cultures sounds good on the surface but causes me a great deal of anxiety. So, instead I opt for all-inclusive resorts in Mexico where they ferry you to the hotel in a giant air conditioned bus so you can whiz by the third world reality of it all. Or cruise ships which create a reality that is so indulgent it’s not funny. It’s not real travelling, but I’m not complaining.

And travelling on my own to the very safe residential neighbourhood in Waterloo is not real travelling either. But it gives me a chance to flex my muscles, to take some baby steps along the road towards flying further afield one day.

Co-op site visits give me the chance to exercise my ability to adapt to new situations. They are the most exciting and most terrifying part of my job. Exciting because I get to meet a student immersed in an important growth experience for them – personally and professionally and hear all about what they are learning. Exciting because I get to walk into an organization – be it a small business, non-profit, federal government, or large corporate, like I will tomorrow – and get a sense of what they do, what industries they play in, and what needs they meet. Exciting to meet the employers and find out about their backgrounds and how they are mentoring their student.

Terrifying because I never know exactly what I’m walking into. Terrifying because I have no idea whether said student and employer are having a happy marriage. Terrifying because I have about 20 minutes with them each to absorb everything going on, assess the situation, and offer guidance, all while filling in forms and explaining program requirements. And that’s of course after navigating myself through traffic and parking to get to the building, and packing several of these visits into each day.

But over all, it’s more exhilarating that not. I try and remind myself that I’m not there to fix anything. I imagine I’m a facilitator for them to hear the words they need to hear to make the best out of their work opportunity. After a day of site visits, I’m often exhausted, but always more assured that I’m in the right job. I get to bear witness to students experiencing amazing opportunities, while rising to my own challenges. I always wonder who learns more from whom during our interactions.

Now, I hear Westjet calling out my flight number. I better figure out what gate that’s coming from. My husband usually deals with that kind of thing.